i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
