talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
4 words: hood of his car
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
