She said her name was "party"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
