Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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