You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
