just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
