Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I love having hate sex.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Randomize
