i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
