Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
