It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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