Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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