I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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