You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
