Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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