i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize