my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I would ride that face into the sunset
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
