We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
