I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
