I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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