the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
