Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'm really busy with my period
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