new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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