Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
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