Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
