Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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