Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
