you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
