She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There's always time for handjobs
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
