Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
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Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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