Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
