yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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