wrigley field is MILF paradise
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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