That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
