I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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