Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
