Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
