This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
