there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So vagazzling was a success
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
