My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
