Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
