did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
