the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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