Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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