I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
