I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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