this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
