He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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