She's JV to your varsity
I hate all girls vehemently.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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