I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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