If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize