Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
