Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize