Banned from zoo.
Again?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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