Fuck appropriateness.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
