I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The adults are the big ones right?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
