Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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