It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
