I didn't shave. On purpose
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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