I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
and you said cock pushups were impossible
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
